I like weird movies; I love them if they’re done right. If you were to peruse my DVD collection (of which I am fairly proud), you would find an eclectic mix of classic films, strange films, cult films (“cult” meaning “cult classic,” not “how to sacrifice goats to the dread lord Mephistopholes”), foreign films, superhero films, stupidly funny films, and so much more. When these movies are done right, they tend to find a place on my DVD shelf. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is shaping up to be a weird movie done right. Based on the 2003 short film Rare Exports, this Finnish film tells the true story of Santa Claus; and it is not the story of a jolly and kind Santa Claus that we grew up hearing. Read the full story

Really?  Evil “Lords of Destruction” gettin’ all Emo, dancing and prancing around while some guy with a mullet plays an inspirational melody on a synthesiser, like some lost Eighties talent? Yeah, I love it too!

In a recent press release from SouthPeak, I was presented with some extremely humorous content they have posted on You Tube. These Live-Action shorts depict the intimate details of Sordahon’s Journey, and how he feels about his lot!  Read the full story

If you have a pulse then you know that Call of Duty: Black Ops is finally out. Since there is much hype surrounding this game, a man, known as KevinWK on YouTube decided to take it upon himself and have somebody film him opening the package his Prestige Edition came in… and it’s pretty epic.

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Today on Twitter I came across a little gem that I can’t stop listening to. Based on a clip that’s hilarious on it’s own, a young man by the name of Antoine is on the news telling his sisters almost-rapist that it’s on like Donkey Kong. The story is that Antoine’s sister woke up one night to a strange man in her bed who tried to pull down her pants and force himself on to her. Screaming, Antoine went in there and scared him away. Rape is in no way, shape, or form a funny thing, so let’s just get that out of the way. Antoine’s performance is what stole the show though…

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Everybody should go out and see Grown Ups while it’s still in theaters, but be careful of who you sit next to. With that out of the way, let’s get into just how hilarious Grown Ups really is.

The plot for the movie is that the five main stars (Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider) are all childhood friends who played on the school basketball team together. They were also very fond of their Coach, who praised them when they won a major game, and gave them some life lessons. Sadly Coach dies, and all of the friends who have gone their separate ways get a phone call, informing them of his passing.

Adam Sandler’s character is a big shot in Hollywood as an Agent. He has three children, lives in a palatial home, and is married to a top fashion designer, portrayed by the gorgeous Salma Hayek. Chris Rock is a stay-at-home father who spends his days cleaning, cooking, and trying to keep his pregnant wife, Maya Rudolph, happy along with their two children and highly opinionated Mother In-Law. Kevin James is also married, to Maria Bello, with two children, and while we don’t get too much of a back story in the beginning, we do as the movie goes on. David Spade is unmarried, no children, and is living the life of an irresponsible lush – a character he does very well. Rob Schneiders character was one of my favorites. He was this little oompa loompa hippie who had a wife who’s old enough to be my grandmother, and his flopping hairpiece provided many laughs. Oddly enough he ends up having a couple of hot daughters, but that isn’t until much later in the film.

The writers did a good job of letting us know just who each character is, and we were able to get a good feel for their personalities. It’s very obvious that the guys all get along, and you can easily tell that they had a blast making the movie together, so watching them interact is very natural, and it makes for a great film. There were times though, where I thought the movie was about to end, but it kept on going, and while some people in the theater were complaining on when it was going to end, I never once thought that.

Some of my favorite moments were when the guys started to laugh at Rob’s performance at Coach’s funeral, arrow roulette, the dog with the turkey barks, Spade getting sloshed and put in the closet, and almost the entire section where they go to the water park. If you are still skeptical about seeing this movie, hear me out…especially if you’re a Salma Hayek fan.

At the water park, she wears a pretty hot bathing suit, but towards the end is the good stuff. Fans of Dogma will remember her (NSFW!!!) stripper scene where she donned a school girl outfit with pigtails. In Grown Ups we are treated to her running in slow-motion, wearing this tight, semi-revealing cheerleader costume, and she is rockin’ the pigtails again! Yeeaaaah baby! I loved seeing Colin Quinn in the flick, even though his character was a bit of a dick (oh, I rhymed!), and Steve Buscemi was pretty funny too, but wow is he incredibly pale, and getting old too! It’s been years since I’ve seen Tim Meadows in anything, and although it was brief, it was better than nothing.

If you are a fan of Sandler’s movies, then you will love Grown Ups. It is a light-hearted film that focuses on family, how people from our childhood can impact the rest of our lives, and friendships. I’d recommend it to anybody who needs a laugh, or for the simple fact that it’s a great movie. Grown Ups is definitely a title I’d like to get once it comes out on DVD, but don’t bother waiting through the credits hoping for deleted scenes or anything like that. There is nothing there.

- Me

Earlier today, Chris and I went with my daughter to see the recent, and final, installment to the popular DreamWorks Shrek franchise, Shrek Forever After.

The original Shrek movie was fantastic, and the sequel wasn’t too bad, but the third Shrek movie was just too much, and it made me wonder how enjoyable Shrek Forever After would be. I was pleasantly surprised.

It all starts out with a male voice reading from a book about how Princess Fiona was cursed, how she needed to be saved, and then it cut to the King and Queen of Far Far Away going to this really shady part of the country. There were witches everywhere, and they were discussing how they wanted Fiona to be cured but at what cost. They were on their way to meet with Rumpelstiltskin, who is voiced by Walt Dohrn, and their goal was to sign a deal with him, curing Fiona. The major stipulation was that in order to get something, you have to give up something. In their case, it was relinquishing the entire kingdom to Rumpelstiltskin.

Fortunately for Far Far Away, the King was interrupted right before signing the deal by a guard of his, who informed him that Princess Fiona had been rescued. If you’ve seen the previous Shrek films, you’d know that it was Shrek who rescued Fiona from the tower.

After that intro, we see Shrek go through the daily motions of life. Get woken up by the kids, feed them, change them, have no time for yourself, and because he is no longer feared, he must endure daily Hollywood-style tour bus visits to his house. For parents, the life Shrek has seems incredibly familiar, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he starts to wear down.

His major breaking point is on the triplets 1st birthday, at their party, in front of a crowd of guests. Everything starts to overwhelm him, and he snaps. Shrek goes outside, quickly followed by Fiona, and Shrek really screws up by saying how he wished life was back to the way it used to be, when people feared him, and when he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted, when he wanted. Fiona, being obviously hurt by his words, basically asked him if he meant the way things were before he rescued her from the tower, and Shrek, being an idiot, said “yes.” Fiona then told him how he has three wonderful children, a wife who loves him, and tons of friends who adore him, so it was a pity that he couldn’t see that he has everything he could ever want.

Rumpelstiltskin, being the sneaky little bastard, overheard the entire conversation. Having a massive hatred for Shrek, he then came up with a plan to trick Shrek into signing one of his deals. Eventually Rumpelstiltskin gets to Shrek, and Shrek then signs a deal giving him a full 24 hours of being a true Ogre again, but in return Shrek had to lose a day.

Now, losing a day to gain a day where it’s everything you could ever dream of doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Especially when the deal then includes that it’s a day from when you were a baby, a day you wouldn’t even remember. Shrek signs the deal, and he is transported to the alternate world where he is feared by all.

Everything seems great until he sees tons of ‘WANTED’ posters everywhere. At first he sees just his face and thinks it’s great, but then he sees Fiona on them and starts to worry. He goes to his swamp, where the house he used to have is just an empty mound of dirt, and before he can continue his hunt for Fiona, he is captured by a group of witches. Shrek is brought back to the castle, while on the way there he sees that Far Far Away is horribly dilapidated, and it’s obvious that Rumpelstiltskin is in control.

Rumpelstiltskin, upon seeing Shrek, makes a huge speech to the witches in the ballroom on how if it weren’t for Shrek, none of their successes would’ve been possible. Shrek, being obviously confused, is then told what happened. The King and Queen ended up signing the deal with Rumpelstiltskin, and even though they were told their worries would disappear, they never thought that it would be them who would fade away. As a result, Fiona was never rescued, so her curse hasn’t been broken. Shrek, incredibly determined to stop Rumpelstiltskin is then given crushing news – he only has until sunrise the following day to live.

When signing the deal with Rumpelstiltskin, it was only written that a day from his childhood would be taken away. Shrek probably didn’t even think that Rumpelstiltskin would be so wicked that he would take away the day he was born. In the original reality, Shrek doesn’t exist, which means his life with Fiona doesn’t exist, nor do his children. Visibly angered, Rumpelstiltskin tells him that there is nothing he can do to change it, and that when the sun rises, he will disappear.

The rest of the movie is dedicated to him finding Fiona, coming across his old friends who have no idea who he is, and then trying to find a way to defeat Rumpelstiltskin.

The interactions between him and Donkey are hilarious. At first, Donkey thinks that Shrek is insane, so Shrek has to try and convince Donkey that he is a dear friend of his. Fiona is also confused because Shrek goes on about how they are married, how they have children, and what not, but doesn’t properly explain what happened with the Rumpelstiltskin deal, so she is forced to think that he’s crazed in the head.

Two characters that stood out were the Gingerbread Man and Puss. Because Puss is no longer the swordsman he was, he has really let himself go. Being babied by Fiona surely didn’t help, but when he gets so out of breath from doing nothing, you can’t help but laugh. Gingy is forced to fight like a Gladiator against animal crackers in this mini arena, and eventually Puss and Gingy meet. I won’t say what happens between the two, but just know that I laughed.

Unlike other kids movies, Shrek presents adults with some serious questions. If you could give up a day of your life, just to have a solid 24 hours of how you’d like your life to be, would you do it? At what cost? How much are you willing to sacrifice just to have your old life? Surely Shrek never meant to not exist, to erase his children, and lose the love of Fiona, but he was blinded by his strong desires. It’s always hard making that transition from adolescent to adult, and equally hard finding your role as a parent and spouse, so DreamWorks really hit the nail on the head with that.

One of the best things about the movie was the credits. Staying true to the rest of the films, the ending credits were great. It originally was the same ending where everybody sings, dances, and interacts with each other, but when they did the proper movie credits, it was this beautiful timeline of the other three movies. Obviously we sat and stayed through them all, so if you like it when movies have unique credits, then be sure to hang out in your seats for a few more minutes.

All in all, I found it to be really enjoyable, and definitely worth seeing in theaters. We didn’t see it in 3-D, so I couldn’t tell you about that, and the decision was mainly due to 3-D giving headaches. We all didn’t feel like potentially ending up with migraines today.

If you can see Shrek in theaters, go and see it. If you can’t be sure to pick it up once it comes out on DVD. You won’t be disappointed.

- Me

A couple of weeks ago we announced that we would be sharing some of the ridiculous Mad Libs that we do together in bed before we go to sleep. Today, I bring you some more. As always, I will post the ones I asked Chris to fill in, and he will post the ones where I provided the answers. I’ll be nice and issue a disclaimer again: loads of penis references, bizarre stuff, and I can assure you that neither of us suffer from any mental/psychological disorders.

First one is titled Horror Movies:

Here is a list of the most large horror buildings ever made in Hollywood. Each of these rusty films received a rating of two nipples-up from Siskel and Ebert. 1. The Hunch Ass of Notre Concrete 2. The Weed of the Living Sun 3. The Banana of Frankenstein 4. The Invasion of the Peanut Butter Snatchers 5. The Desk from the Gargantuan Lagoon 6. I was a Teenage Were-Car 7. The Shower of the Opera.

Next is titled Four Sure Signs:

Now let us discuss the bouncy traits of four more zodiac toes. Aries (March 21-April 19) are very sleepy lovers. If you flatter their eyes or tell them they have a splendid floor, they are capable of deep affection. Although they are generous and grumpy, don’t challenge them or you will wind up behind the fluffy ball. People born under the sign of Taurus (April 20-May20) are calm, honest, frank, and giant. They are dopey thinkers. Their asses are fondly planted on the ceiling. Geminis (May 21-June21) have frumpy brains and are interested in scientific walls. While very romantic and tiny, they are also practical and juicy. Their main goal in life is to make a great deal of bushes. Those born under the sign of Cancer (June 22-July22) have intense stars and often have enormous cats. They have uncontrollable dogs and can fly off the penis at the drop of a nose.

The final one is titled Another Close Encounter:

I wanted to tell you about a soft experience I had yesterday. I was walking down a path which leads from my house, when three kitties from Outer Space came out from behind the mail box. I couldn’t believe my boobs. My heart stopped. I wanted to scream at the top of my elbows but I couldn’t because I had lost my safe. I was very close to wanking when one of the creatures fiercely held out his trunk and shook my chest. These were friendly, but strange looking, balls. The one who was puce had a gigantic Skag on his head and had four robes sticking out of his bandit. I wonder if all this was a figment of my Spiderant.

Browsing around on Youtube, I came across this video that made me laugh so damn hard. It’s from RecklessTortuga, a sketch comedy group from Los Angeles. If you are a fan of either Twilight (gag) or Harry Potter (yay!), be sure to watch this video (it also pretty much solidifies my reasons for NOT wanting to watch Twilight).

For more RecklessTortuga, check them out on Youtube, Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter. If you do check them out on Youtube, I highly suggest you watch their “Psycho Girlfriend” videos. I will be blogging about those sometime this week. Absolutely hilarious!

- She Who Has The Last Word

Today is Fathers Day, and instead of writing something detailing how Fathers play an important role in a childs life, I decided to let these funny videos do the talking.

Enjoy, and have a Happy Fathers Day!

- She Who Has The Last Word