After our trip to the Apple Store a couple of nights ago, we stopped by a See’s Candies shop, as it was on our way out of the mall, and we wanted some free candy samples.  We walked in and picked up a couple of interesting shelf items before standing in line for the good stuff.  Shortly after, one of the sales associates finished with her customer and came to serve us.  We tried a couple of samples each (usually only one is offered, but she offered us two (we tend to get along very well with service professionals (that’s what they like being called, right?))), and made our order (Lindsey got three Scotchmallows (marshmallow and caramel covered in dark chocolate (I dislike the flavor of dark chocolate)), and I got three Vanilla Creams (vanilla buttercream and English walnuts covered in milk chocolate (the English walnuts are broken and mixed in with the buttercream))).

Lindsey made a small complaint about her tooth hurting (she has one cavity left (that we know of (she had the other five worked on already without drugs)) and isn’t willing to get it worked on because it would require the use of a needle and Novocaine (Lindsey hates needles, and she’s worried about the numbing effects of Novocaine (which I think are kind of fun))), and Lo! and Behold! (using the exclamation marks like that mid-sentence is acceptable as the phrase “Lo! and Behold!” is an idiom (not a stupid person, but a cultural expression) containing two expressions (Lo! = Look!, Behold! = Behold! (the second one is a bit more self-explanitory, I agree)), and as each expression within the idiom (see above, you silly person) is meant to be a solitary expression, each expression receives its own punctuation (the fact that they are combined into one idiom (what, again?) is merely to add weight to the intended meaning (alternately, it could be argued that to Look! (Lo!) is to see, and to Behold! (Behold!) is to understand (I prefer this explanation, because it creates a more solid idiom (now I’m just doing it on purpose))))), the associate informed us that she was, in fact, the back office manager of a dental office in Fresno, and had spent a few years as a dental assistant!

Immediately in my mind, images and thoughts of a widespread secret world of espionage and power struggles between the nefarious Chocolate Empire and the devious Dentist’s Guild began to take form.  Was the associate working within the Chocolate Empire as a way to damage its integrity by pushing extra samples on unsuspecting bystanders in hopes of causing cavities, thereby turning the bystander into an enemy of chocolate, giving the Dentist’s Guild an advantage in numbers?  Or perhaps she infiltrated the Dentist’s Guild as a way to counter the negative chocolate propaganda machine of the world of Dentistry!  Perhaps she causes immense pain in her patients to repel them from their dentists!

Perhaps the Chocolate Empire and the Dentist’s Guild are less hostile towards each other than she thinks.  It is my guess that the two giants are interdependent!  Without chocolate to cause cavities, where will the Dentist’s Guild find teeth to toy with?  Without dentistry to correct cavities, where will the Chocolate Empire find new subjects?

Dr. Chocolate, your cover is blown!

Oh, and I think parentheses are fucking AWESOME.

-Because I said so

After visiting Lindsey’s great-great-uncle for his 91st birthday, we headed to the Apple Store to buy the Griffin Clarifi case for the 3G iPhone I bought her this week.  We got there shortly after 8:00pm, and while looking at the wall of accessories, an associate stopped by to ask us if we needed any help.  This associate was Michael M.  Remember this, folks, because his name will come up again.  We asked what few questions we had, which were answered to the best of his ability, and then we continued browsing for a few more moments.  8:15 rolls around, and we’re ready to check out.  At this time, most, if not all, of the associates are occupied, so we wait and take a look at some iPhone dock speakers.  When we look up again, a few minutes later, we notice that one or two of the associates were no longer helping any customers.  We decided to continue looking at the speakers as we waited for one of the now free associates to inquire if we were ready to check out or needed any assistance.  We stop looking at the speakers and just stand there, looking at nothing in particular, waiting for someone to come help us.  A few minutes later, Lindsey goes to sit down.  She notices that one of the free associates has glanced at me a few times, but apparently not found me worthy of his help.  It becomes a battle of wills.  I will not go to ask for help, as it would indicate weakness and surrender.  I mean, for God’s sake, I could buy the exact same case from ThinkGeek for cheaper.  It’s not like the Apple Store has a monopoly on this item that would make me stay until they decided to acknowledge my existence.  An associate walks past me, completely failing to recognize my presence, and starts having a chat with the other free associate.  At this point, I am standing with the item and the credit card I wish to use in my hand.  My hand, in turn, is extended horizontally outward from my body, clearly indicating that I want to give them my money in exchange for this product.  I am passed yet again, without even an attempt at eye contact.  30 minutes after we were ready to check out, Michael M finishes helping the person he ditched us for and, after passing by me twice, notices that I am still standing in the same position, and asks if I was ready to check out.  Giant grin on my face, I indicated that I was indeed ready to check out, and the process goes smoothly from there.

The associate who kept glancing at me, but not doing his job, gave us a kindly “Thanks for coming!” as we departed, which we failed to return.

-Because I said so

Then you’d better go catch it!

Our refrigerator sucks as much as that joke.  Our apartment came with a refrigerator.  We considered this a good thing.  However, even at level 5 out of 9 possible temperature levels, it still freezes yogurt, salad, and juice.  Things which are NOT LOCATED IN THE FREEZER.  A simple solution, you might say, is to keep turning it down until it stops freezing things.  The problem is that this refrigerator has no concept of a “happy medium”, or “ideal temperature”.  It will either freeze half of our food items, or keep them at a temperature that is borderline unsafe.

I hate our refrigerator.

-Because I said so

Well I know this is getting posted rather late, but it is better than not at all.

Last Friday we had a really fun show and the chat room was rather active. We started the show off as usual and then got into all the juicy details. Chris even made a foil replica of Ryu’s headband. Ryu is from Street Fighter if some of you readers don’t know that.

We updated everybody about our grand plot against our neighbors, the addition of our new forum, discussed the recent Heroes episode where Sylar goes apeshit, how El Pollo Loco let me down, the Super Bowl commercials, and more stuff that I honestly can’t remember right now because I just can’t.

Chris’s Song Pick Of The Week was Iran So Far Away by Andy Samberg featuring Adam Levine of Maroon 5.

My Song Pick Of The Week was Windowlicker by Aphex Twin.

Chris’s TV Pick Of The Week was Drive.

My TV Pick Of The Week was Little Britain.

Chris’s Movie Pick Of The Week was TMNT.

My Movie Pick Of The Week was Grandma’s Boy.

Thanks again to everybody who came and watched us. We honestly couldn’t do it without you because then we wouldn’t have anybody to talk to!

See you all on Friday!

Episode discussion at:

http://worldofmeh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=11

- She Who Has The Last Word

The date, February 19, 2008.

The time, 8:50pm.

The place, AT&T corporate store at 5180 N Blackstone Ave, in Fresno.

The situation:

For our two month anniversary (two monthaversary, twoaversary, whatever), we decided to purchase new cell phones for each other.  I had wanted an iPhone since before there was even speculation about iPhones.  She wanted a Sidekick LX.  We had spent a great deal of time at a T-Mobile store at 5180 N Palm Ave, but, because of a technical error that was made, I was unable to purchase her Sidekick until the next day.  Since we had spent so much time there, we did not have enough time to make it all the way to the Apple Store at 667 East Shaw Avenue, so we made haste to the nearest corporate AT&T store (mentioned above).  We arrived shortly before closing, and she was able to purchase a 16GB, first generation (the only generation, at the time) iPhone for the man she loves so dearly.  The next day, while wearing my most comfortable work slacks (which, unfortunately, have highly angled pockets, giving case hooks a tenuous grip, at best), the phone fell to the cement.  I noticed no immediate issue; however, eventually, an issue made itself known.  If you do not know this already, the iPhone battery is not removable.  It is soldered to the motherboard, and the power is transferred through three soldered wires, rather than a connection point like most cell phones posess.  Unfortunately, the drop had loosened the battery, which was no longer adhered to the motherboard.  As it moved around, the already weak solder (weak from the impact of the drop) on the third wire gave up, causing the phone to start turning off at random.  Being a natural MacGuyver, I opened the casing, superglued the battery to the motherboard, and scotch taped the loose wire back into place.  Every now and then, I have to reapply the tape, but for the most part, it works just fine.

Anyway.

Lindsey got sick of my twomonthaversary gift, her Sidekick LX, and wanted something with more functionality.  Having suggested that she also get an iPhone almost a year ago, I was not surprised (I wasn’t surprised, just RIGHT, and she admitted it on Friday night after the MehCast while we were in the Farmer Boys drive thru).  To make her happy, I deviously managed to get us to the very same AT&T store we visited almost one year ago without her suspecting a single thing.  A SINGLE THING!  She’ll deny it, but remember, she said that I was RIGHT, and that now counts for absolutely everything we differ on.  Anyway, we went in, and I purchased a brand new 8GB 3G iPhone for the lady I love so dearly.  We go home, and what should happen not a few hours later?

She drops it.

Oh, yes.  She drops it.

I have had to put up with almost one full year of unending crap from her about having dropped my phone the day after she gave it to me as a gift, and what happens when she gets her own?  SHE DROPS IT ON THE FIRST DAY!

I have now started my one year of revenge, wherein I will give her crap about having dropped her iPhone.

Justice is sweet.

-Because I said so

So about a week ago I got my W2 in from my former job and got giddy. In all of my years filing taxes I have always gotten a return. A very nice return if I say so, but a lot of it comes from Earned Income Credit and the Child Tax Credit from my daughter. Anyways I was told that because now I own my own business, it would help if I were to go to a CPA because they could help me get the best return possible. I called a recommended local guy earlier last week and he was telling me all of this stuff to get and how I should total everything up before I got there so that him and I don’t have to go through paperwork. Now while this might seem like a smart idea to some it doesn’t sit too well with me. If I am doing all of this work on my own then why don’t I just do the taxes my own damn self? Isn’t that what we pay them for?

Since Chris and I will be using our returns on putting deposits down with wedding vendors I asked the guy how long it would take for everything to be processed etc. I was informed that we don’t actually go through the paper work during our meeting and that he gives the information off to some other dude in the office and that it takes about a week to then go and file. After that it would be an additional 8 to 15 days for me to get my direct deposit tax return. I am an impatient person and I want my money ASAP. I then asked what his fees were and I was told that it would be 300 and that it couldn’t be taken out of my return so it had to be upfront.

300 buck up front! Sheesh!

When I was at my meeting last Wednesday my Director, Lori, told me that since I started so late in the year that going to H&R would be fine for me because of how little paperwork I have accumulated so far. Cool! H&R……

I’ve had my taxes done by them for awhile now and I even did them by myself last year online (I tried that this year and knew that if I did try with all the extra stuff that I would have screwed up and probably have been audited. No bueno.)

So yesterday I tell Chris that we should probably go to file my taxes today and he says OK. I start getting my papers together and start adding stuff up. Once I was done with that it was already about 11:30 in the morning. I looked on Google Maps the closest location and gave it a call. I was told that the earliest appointment could be at 2 but I asked if I could come in earlier since we had a lot of errands to run that day. I wasn’t fibbing about that either. We did have a lot to do.

Ok.. 1 o clock appointment with some lady whose name I can’t even begin to spell. We got there at 12:30 and I went in checking to see if maybe I could be seen early. I was told that the lady was scheduled to start her shift at 1 o clock so Chris and I went across the street and got some drinks at Starbucks, went and filled up his tank with gas, and after all of that it was around 12:50. I go back inside thinking that maybe this person is normal and gets to their shifts early, but alas I was wrong.

1 o clock came around and nobody was to be found. Instead Chris and I got the chance to sit on some rather uncomfortable chairs for a long time. After awhile I asked Chris what time it was and he let me know that it was about 15 after 1. 15 minutes late to their own job and 15 minutes late for my appointment. Seriously. At 1:20 I see some grotesquely dressed woman come through the front door. I turned to Chris and said “Watch that be her.”

10 minutes later we were at 1:30 and I finally had it. I went up to the front desk thingy and asked this lady how much longer it would be. She went back to check and told me that she was almost ready for me. No… she wasn’t. She had her pink thingy wrapped around her, was holding her purse in her hand, and was jibber jabbering with another girl that worked there.

I then told the lady that I was going to leave. Since the people there work on a commission of some sort she asked if I was sure since she was ready. I didn’t want to be rude but I was getting cranky and I really hate waiting. I was about as nice as I could be and I said: “I know this isn’t your fault, but I don’t feel confident having my taxes done by somebody who can’t show up on time to their own shift.” She understood and went to check and see if there was somebody else who could see me.

When she came back out she was accompanied with an elderly man who was really nice. Poor guy was eating lunch and I told him not to worry about it. I love food and won’t dare interupt somebody enjoying their tasty spoils. He said that he had availability at 3 o clock but it was too late for me. I wanted my stuff done already! He then asked about next weekend but I told him that we need the returns ASAP for wedding purposes. The front desk lady checked some of the other H&R Block locations in the area and told me that if I was to go to one right up the street that I could be seen right away.

Right away…..

We drive there and I saw only 4 work stations. 2 were occupied and the other 2 lacked an employee. A lady who was with clients came up and asked if I needed anything and I told her that I needed my taxes to be done. She informed me that she had just started with a couple and would see how far along the other person was. She came back to me only to say that he or she too had just started so it would be about an hour or so to wait.

To wait….

My patience at this point is already shot. It was after 2 and I should have had my taxes filed at this point. I then called ANOTHER location and this is how it started….

I was at first told that the soonest appointment could be at 5 but then was told that if I had all of my paperwork ready that I could be seen right away depending on how long it would take for me to get there. Chris and I were already on the road so we turned around with the quickness because I was on a mission at this point.

After we got to the location off of Herndon and Fowler everything was fantastic. I didn’t have to wait, the guy was nice… hell, everybody was nice. They even found ways to make my costs to them cheaper. They saved me money and found ways to get me a bigger return!

The main lady that was working there, not too sure if she was a manager or not, asked me about what had happened so I told her everything and she let me know that she would be talking with the manager of that location about what had happened and would make sure that the “Oh I’m so late” lady would be taken care of. I know that made it sound like the Mafia would be called on her, but I highly doubt she is going to wake up tomorrow with a horses head in her bed. At most she will have some disciplinary action taken against her.

My return came to $3,900 and I was pleased as punch.

Now I get to do this all over again next year! YAY!

- She Who Has The Last Word

As we’re walking back into our apartment this evening, after spending most of the day running errands and being about town, we noticed a small, beautiful, black cat with white and grey accents in the parking lot.  After a bit of prompting, it eventually came closer.  As I had somewhere around ten plastic bags filled with groceries and miscellaneous items hanging from my right arm, I felt that I would like someplace to set them down, so I said that I would be heading into the apartment.  Lindsey followed, and, surprisingly, so did the cat.  As I set our goods down, Lindsey got some cheese and milk for the little cat.  It came and went throughout the night, having some cheese, having some milk, etc.  It even came in past the door, for just a little while.  However, the cat seems to be gone for the moment.  If we get the opportunity, perhaps we’ll take a picture of it and post it.

-Because I said so

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a link to a new comic that Mark Waid was working on.  I loved his work on Kingdom Come and Secret Origins, and the lead-in mentioned Kingdom Come, so I clicked and took a look.  What I saw was “Irredeemable”, a new monthly series from Mark Waid.  I love the premise, and I think it’s just a fantastic story to tell.  The story tells of the world’s greatest superhero, and his transformation into the world’s greatest supervillain.  Yes, there have been superhero to supervillain turns in comics before.  I haven’t read Mark Waid’s work on Empire, but I’ve heard that there are some similarities.  However, I think the thing that I like most about the premise is…well, read the next bit first.

Mark Waid describes the comic in this way:

“In superhero comics, pretty much everyone who’s called upon to put on a cape is, at heart, emotionally equipped for the job.  I reject that premise.  Irredeemable is…a pulp adventure tale of horror exploring how the lessons we learn about right and wrong as children can become warped and twisted when challenged by the realities of the adult world.”

The hero isn’t under a magic spell, being brainwashed by a supervillain, or being coerced due to hostages, etc.  The hero has genuinely become twisted by, I assume, his responsibility, and the simple meaning of right and wrong.  This is the hero’s CHOICE to become a villain, in the truest sense of the word.

I can’t wait.

-Because I said so

Back in 2002 I attended the wonderful Electronic Entertainment Expo, better known as E3. It was everything I could have imagined, and more. There was so much going on that I thought I would succumb to sensory overload. Game demos everywhere, lights and neon that made you think you were at Times Square or the Vegas Strip, and people! Oh it was a sea of nerds, and it was beautiful!

I went all 3 days of that convention and my legs were so tired. The trick is to go around to each booth the first day and pillage for goodies. E3 is notorious for giving good swag. I came away with Link and Samus pins for my lanyards, game demos, a huge Sony bag, and a bunch of other stuff.

I was given a job offer from Sega (that couldn’t be accepted for personal reasons… and yeah, that was my dream job btw), and I even got the chance to attend the Sony After Party. There I met Hideo Kojima. For those of you who don’t know who that is, he is the Vice President of Konami and also the creator of Metal Gear Solid. It was such an honor to meet him and I had no idea what to talk about! I did tell him how I laughed at the part in Metal Gear 2 when you can knock on the inside of a locker door where a poster of a bikini girl hangs. When you do that, you hear a “boing!” sound as the fist hits the boob. So funny! Hideo always puts little details like that in every game of his and I think it’s fantastic. I even asked him about the Metal Gear that would be released after that and all he told me was that “there will be a Snake” in it. I can’t tell you how many hours my brain wrestled around with that comment.

What I really found cool was that Kojima-san and his friends all wanted to take pictures with me. I know that a lot of it had to deal with the fact that I am a blonde haired, blue eyed American girl who spoke Japanese but still, it was flattering. Then the icing on the cake happened when Kojima-san asked for my business card. Of course I didn’t have one so I apoligized but he gave me his! There I am, this regular person getting this incredible mans business card! I immediately thanked him for it and told him that one day I hope I get the chance to work with him because it would be an honor and a dream come true. It really would be.

I have yet to call him and it’s been almost 7 years. First off I have no idea what I would say, secondly it would probably be expensive as hell to call Japan. His business card did include his email and I have yet to do that either. I have no idea what to say! Really, what does one say when they are emailing a person such as him?

Lately I’ve thought about it though. Emailing him and saying sorry that it’s taken so long, and to help jog his memory I would attach one of the pictures that was taken but I don’t know. It could be pretty awesome or I could fail…miserably. If I do email him you guys and gals will be the first to know about it!

Here are some of the pictures taken from that Sony After Party, and yeah… my hair was bleached. Oh, you can obviously tell how excited I am by my enormous smile.

From L to R: Some guy who worked on Street Fighter and Suikoden, me, Akira Yamaoka of Silent Hill fame and a Konami employee. Bottom: I have no idea.

From L to R: Hideo Kojima VP of Konami and creator of Metal Gear Solid, me, Takayoshi Sato who is another Konami employee

From L to R: Hideo Kojima, me, Akira Yamaoka of Silent Hill fame and Konami employee

Hope you all enjoyed the pictures even though I look totally different and way beyond excited but if you were there you would probably be that excited too. I did talk with Takayoshi Sato for a few months after E3 and we kept trying to schedule time to get together for lunch but that never happened. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with Akira Yamaoka he did the sound for all of the Silent Hill games, was the main guy behind the 3rd game in the series, and he also worked on the movie adaptation. He was a really nice guy and I have his business card somewhere too.

I would scan them for you guys but I don’t think they would appreciate me giving out their information on the internet like that. Sorry!!

Hopefully I can get into E3 this year. I might make more posts that are tech and video game oriented just because I would want to prove that this blog can qualify for a press pass or something of that nature. Who knows, I might have more pictures this June! Wish me luck!

- She Who Has The Last Word

On December 23rd of last year (2008 to be exact) I entered myself in to a sweepstakes on www.theknot.com. For those of you who don’t know what The Knot is, it’s a wedding website and filled with girly stuff. I created an account there ages ago and hardly use it but since Chris and I are the ones paying for our wedding I have been on the internet searching for wedding related sweepstakes/contests.

Anyways, I have bad luck when it comes to these things and know that the odds of me winning are slim to none however today I woke up to a treat.

When I got up I thought today was going to suck. I almost fell on the way to the bathroom due to me being half asleep,  accidentally dropped my Sidekick on the tile floor in the bathroom, and then I almost fell into the shower/tub while trying to sit on the porcelian god.

After that fun I went to my PC and checked my email. I noticed something strange in my inbox with the subject mentioning my entry to the contest. When I opened it I seriously thought I had to check my eyes – I had won!

I am the Grand Prize Winner of their Dreams Remember the Resort Game & Sweepstakes and I couldn’t be happier. A guest (which is obviously Chris) and myself get a free 3 night stay at any of the new Dreams Resorts & Spas. We even get to choose which one we want to stay at. Three of the five are located in various spots of Mexico while the other two are in the Dominican Republic.

Right now I am leaning towards the Dreams Huatulco Resort because it is close to a jungle and a coral reef. It feels so odd even mentioning something like that because I never honestly thought I would be able to afford a trip like this anything soon. Since Chris and I are footing the bill one of the things we knew we couldn’t afford would be a Honeymoon so we were just going to go somewhere for a few days, come back for Christmas, and then go to another place in January 2010. Vegas came to mind since we could say that we visited the Pyramids, Paris, Camelot, New York, and other locations. Vegas, if done right, can be pretty affordable and that is very appealing to us.

All I have to do is print out the affidavit of eligibility/liability that also is a publicity release since they will advertise on their website that I am the winner and all that jazz. I might even be in their magazine! I am so excited I think I might explode!

You can check out their resorts and know more about the company at: http://www.dreamsresorts.com

I just had to share this with you all and will keep you updated as the days go along!

- She Who Has The Last Word