This week Chris and I have been going around to different vendors so that we can decide who we want to use for our upcoming wedding. Planned for Thursday was a florist, gown store and then a meeting with our reception site. We also had to pick up some cake samples from a baker we are considering. Since there was a large gap between the florist appointment and the gown store we went to get lunch before picking up the cake.

Right across the street from the bakery was a Burger King, and since I thought it sounded delicious we got some food there. I would have been content going through the drive-thru but Chris brought up how going inside could kill some time. I think this might be the last time I ever listen to him.

We got inside, placed our order, and sat down in a booth. We started talking about random stuff and then our order was up. After Chris sat down we started eating, and then I saw something behind him.

A wasp.

My Mom is highly allergic to bees, wasps, and really anything that stings like that. She has to either be given a shot immediately or be taken to a hospital because it can and will kill her. I am fortunate to have never been stung, but that doesn’t mean I am not afraid of what my reaction would be like. I did crack a joke to Chris saying that a hospial is just right down the street, but it was pretty obvious that I didn’t want it to come to that.

At first I thought it was outside since sometimes it’s hard to tell on those thick windows, but as it got closer to the back of Chris’s head it was pretty obvious that it was inside.

The wasp started to fly towards us and all I kept thinking was that it could smell my fear. I am still convinced that it had it’s eyes on me, waiting to strike, and to just really fuck up my day. Chris still had a burger to finish, but since the wasp was now above us on the ceiling, we decided to pack it up and get the hell out of there.

Before leaving I let a girl behind the counter know of their little friend and she said she would tell the manager.

As we were backing out we saw the manager with a long stick poking at the ceiling and I assume he got it since we didn’t see him flailing his arms about in a panic. Oh well.

- She Who Has The Last Word

If the title isn’t revealing enough, allow me to elaborate.

Lindsey elbowed me in the face, last night.

Right in the nose, with the tip of her elbow.  It wasn’t a regular elbow to the face, either.  We were dancing, and as I was pulling her back to me in a twirl, she clipped me in the nose.  So not only did I have the full force of her body slamming into my nose, I had the added momentum from the spin, lending her more power in the ELBOW TO MY FACE.

-Because I said so

Lindsey and I are getting married this December.  Since there’s a lot to go through, I took this week off from work so that we could sit in with vendors.  So far, we’ve had a lot of good appointments, giving us a great idea of how much our wedding is going to cost, and what kind of wedding it will be.  Let me reassure everyone by saying that we will, absolutely, have a flower piece for the gift book.

Only one person will really get that joke, and she’s sitting next to me.  More details on Friday’s MehCast.

-Because I said so

So a few months ago, walking in to Vons (a grocery store on the west coast), I see, from the orner of my eye, Lindsey starting to kick her left foot somewhat on each step, like a bull stamping it’s hoof before it charges.  It persists almost all the way to the store entrance.  I started copying her to tease her about it, when she informed me that she was just trying to get the bottom of her pant leg to jump over the tongue of her sneakers by kicking.  I suppose it’s kind of hard to imagine, so perhaps she’ll give us a demonstration on this Friday’s MehCast.

I thought it would be easier just to hike the pant leg a bit and let it drop over the tongue, but I guess I like to do things the easy way.

-Because I said so

If you watched Episode 3 of the MehCast, you will have heard this story already. If not here it is in all its glory.

Last week, while waiting for Lindsey during one of her Mary Kay appointments, I decided to put some gas in my car.  I walked into a Valero station to pick up some candy while the car was filling up, and as I approached the counter, the Indian man (younger, leaner guy, not much of a beard to speak of) looks up and greets me.  As he starts ringing up my purchase, he looks at my beard and says, “Hey, man, that is a great beard!”

Sorry, what?

Again, “That is a really nice beard!”

Pardon?

“A lovely beard, really.”

Why, thank you.

-Because I said so

As some of you know, Chris and I have our own place together. We love it. We have a nice amount of space plus it came with washer and dryer hook-ups which means no laundry room! The washer we got from my Mom, that was kept outside for who knows how long, and Chris found the dryer from a nice lady on Craigslist. On the day that we moved, Chris and a friend of his took the moving truck over to the two locations and picked them up before we started to load the boxes. It had rained prior to the move so when they got the washer it was about a quarter of the way filled with water, leaves, and other assorted fun items. Before putting them into the apartment we cleaned off the sides and then ran the washer a few times with some bleach to clean it out and to drain the water. That was back in the middle of December.

Fast forward to earlier this week. On Monday I was sitting on the couch, doing nothing spectacular, and I looked at the wall right next to me. At first there was nothing too out of the ordinary. I had the blinds open and was letting in the natural light, I saw some dudes on the roof across the way clipping off tree branches, and I was talking to Chris over AIM. Then I looked at the little section of the wall closest to me and I saw something rather horrific.

A black widow.

When I was a child, I was almost bitten by a black widow. The story goes like this: My Mom, former step-father and I were living in this new house. One day we were all outside, doing something that I can’t remember, when all of a sudden I had to use the restroom. I went into the house from the garage and used the bathroom that was right next to the garage door and my bedroom. Everything was just fine when I saw a large spider on the floor. It wasn’t the black widow but it was a giant wood spider. Very ugly creature I might add. It started to walk towards me and as a child, around 8 at the time, you get really scared by such things. As it was making it’s way towards me I was still on the toilet. I could do nothing so I put both of my legs up on the side of the tub and just hoped that it would turn around and leave me alone. Just when I thought that things would be ok the black widow entered.

It started to walk towards the wood spider and me, creeping along doing it’s little spider walk with it’s slender glossy black legs, but it kept coming closer to me. I was cornered by two ugly ass spiders and I couldn’t do a damn thing. I tell ya; if it wasn’t for the fact that I was already on a toilet I probably would have pissed myself. I was the only person inside the house so nobody could hear me. I did yell out for help but it was really useless. So there I sat as the black widow was right near me, and could have easily bitten me had I put my feet down on the floor, when I heard the squeek of a door hinge. Somebody came in through the garage door! I remember letting out a blood curdling yell that had my Mom flying through the door to see just what in the hell was wrong with me. It took like a nanosecond for her to see my new friends on the floor and she then got her husband Lenny, and no he wasn’t from Of Mice and Men.

I don’t remember exactly what he used in killing the creatures but shortly after he started to move them away from me the wood spider and the black widow started going at each other. I can tell you this much, it was a rather epic battle. As if they were fighting to the death – no pun intended. Neither of the arachnids won because both of them were killed in a wonderful blaze of glory. To this day I am still terrified of large spiders, especially black widows and other ones that I know could easily do some damage.

Back to my dilemma though. Alone. On the couch. Black widow on the wall. Gripped with fear. Chris was in a meeting at that time, or so he said he was, so I really had no help. I did send him a text message though to his work cell hoping that he would get it and have at least some advice on how to deal with my lovely roommate. I picked up a shoe and was going to smoosh it but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if the spider jumped? What if I missed? I even put the whole shoe on my hand and crawled up on the couch, hiding behind the side of it, thinking that it was a good angle and that the couch was providing me with a “shield” of some sort. Of course, me being neurotic, my mind then starts thinking on how my arm is completely exposed. I could easily be bitten there and then what would I do?

After a half hour of being freaked out, I remembered about the tree trimming dudes. One of them was back down on the ground so I ran out there to get him. I was in all of my glory. Picture this if you will: my hair was a mess, I was in a baggy MLG (Major League Gaming) t-shirt, and to complete my sexy look I was wearing a pair of Chris’s pajama pants – light blue fleece Paul Frank ones that were covered with monkeys. Such a sexy sight, I really can’t even put it into words. So there I go, this mess of a woman, out to the tree dude. As soon as I get to him I ask if he can come in my apartment and kill my spider. The guy probably thought I was joking but I was dead serious.

He killed the spider so fast that if I would have blinked I would have missed it. All he did was walk right up to it and smoosh it with his big boot. As he was leaving I thanked him and tried to play it all cool by saying how “it’s a girl thing.” The guy probably thought I was a nut. A few minutes later my phone rang and it was Chris asking if I was ok and I told him everything that had happened. I felt awful because the “meeting” was something really short and he had left work early to surprise me but as soon as he saw the text he called me to make sure I was fine, thus ruining the surprise.

After that incident we began to wonder as to where these little bastards could possibly be coming from and I immediately thought of the washer. My Mom does have some black widows around the outside of her house, and since the washer had been left outside there is no reason as to why they couldn’t have gotten inside. Realizing that I got this sick feeling in my stomach because where there is 1, there are more.

Boy was I right.

Thursday I was on the couch and had gotten off of the phone. It was about 10 in the morning and I glanced over to the cables to the left of our t.v. console. There was a bit of black cables forming a loop and there I saw it.

Black widow v2.

Two encounters with a black widow in one week. Not good. Since it was early in the day, it wasn’t like Chris would be coming home anytime soon so I would be left to my own devices for many hours. There were no guys trimming trees outside, and when looking through my blinds there really wasn’t anybody outside. I called my Mom and thanked her for my washer-o-death and called my Grandma to see if she had any suggestions on killing them but all I got was the answering machine. I told Chris on AIM about the spider and he asked if I wanted him to come home for lunch and kill it. Like a baby, I said yes.

Him, being a smart ass, told me to keep my eye on it and that he was on his way. What did I do? I sat there on the couch staring at the bane of my existence making sure that it didn’t try and sneak off. When he got here, he walked right in and “SMOOSH!” Problem solved. It was awesome because he got to spend the rest of the day with me but then he got a big laugh. I did get a bit weepy because they really do scare the bejesus out of me and he thought it was amusing at how girly I am sometimes. He said that it’s funny because I burp, fart, and swear like a sailor but then I become some damsel in distress at the silliest things like spiders.

We all have our things, OK?

To make sure that I don’t have to see anymore of my 8 legged friends, I called the rental office and asked if they spray for spiders since they do for roaches. I was told that they do and that they would be coming next Wednesday. I felt like tap dancing throughout the apartment but I refrained. I’ve turned down the thermostat so that the heater won’t run since the spiders hate the cold and gravitate towards the heat. I’ve been shaking my shoes before I put them on and other neurotic things.

So now I wait for Wednesday to come. Oh glorious Wednesday.

Muerte a todos!

- She Who Has The Last Word

On last Friday’s MehCast, I mentioned Joaquin Phoenix’s new career choice. Towards the end of last year he retired from acting, that he is amazing at, and was rumored to start a music career. Some thought it made sense since he did a great job portraying Johnny Cash in “Walk The Line.” It wouldn’t be the first time that an actor has dipped into music… and like any bad informercial – “But wait!!! There’s more!!!”

I recently came across this article on E Online! that gave details on Joaquins musical style – rap. Yes – rap. I wish I was a liar right now but I speak the truth.

Casey Affleck, Ben’s younger and more talented brother, is getting behind the camera to film a documentary on dear ol’ Joaquin and his musical journey. It will go through his recording process, since he plans on releasing a CD, and other stuff. What makes this even better is that he is using the over-hyped Diddy as his mentor and producer.

Want more?

Oh yes my friends… I do believe that the Youtube gods have smiled on us. They have provided us with a wonderful video of a recent performance in Las Vegas. I personally thing Mr. Phoenix has snapped or is on a WICKED combination of drugs. I think he needs professional help immediately before we lose another skilled actor.

I will admit that I did laugh while watching this video because he does look ridiculous (and very well could bring in a Unabomber beard trend), but you can tell there is something sincerely wrong with him. It’s sad, and even though he is serious with his new venture, I hope this is all one huge joke.

ENJOY!!

- She Who Has The Last Word

Good afternoon, Meh-nans!  Meh-ple?  Meh-tans?  Meh-nanites?

I don’t know about that last one…

Anyway, last night marked Year 1, Episode 3 of our weekly MehCast!  We ran just a few minutes over an hour, and ended shortly after my cousin’s wife (cousin-in-law?) came over.  We had a fairly good turnout, although it seemed to fluctuate over the course of the broadcast.  All in all, however, I feel it was a good show, and we had a lot of fun.

We discussed my Hello Kitty incident (which can be found in more detail on a recent blog post), as well as a brief Q&A session with a single question, submitted by myself, as a joke.  We discussed Lindsey’s fear of Black Widow spiders, as well as her encounters in the apartment with a few (which can be found in more detail in a post later on today or tomorrow).  Topics of discussion also included the Watchmen movie, the upcoming Cowboy Bebop movie and its casting, and Joaquin Phoenix’s turn to the world of professional rap.  We discussed, briefly, Smallville, Heroes, South Park, a new Star Wars “Force” toy, my beard and t-shirt (which can be found in more detail on an upcoming blog post this weekend or Monday), as well as our planned (but obviously unfulfilled) trip to San Francisco today.

I’m going to spend this week in development of a new aluminum foil hat for Lindsey, at the request of one of our viewers.  I was able to rig one together during the show, but it was of mediocre quality and construction.  Episode 4 will witness the debut of a rather more advanced and sturdy aluminum hat, so be sure to tune in for that, if nothing else!

Year 1, Episode 4 of the weekly MehCast will air next Friday, January 23rd, at 7:00pm PST (GMT -8) on UStream (http://www.ustream.tv/channel/world-of-meh/).  Make sure to check it out!

Episode discussion at:

http://worldofmeh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=8

-Because I said so

Last Friday, Chris and I had a rather interesting show. For starters we had to cut it at an hour due to us having company come over. Then we experienced tech issues about half way through the show in which we had to cut the feed and restream. Our total live viewer count was 2, but we knew in advance that some of the guys who were there for our first episode wouldn’t be able to make it.

I knew that it would be difficult for us to try and cram in all of our topics in a 60 minute show but I think we did an alright job. We discussed our fantastic neighbors again, our picks from the recent CES show, the upcoming Wolverine and Dragon Ball movies, the horrific cover of Depeche Modes “Personal Jesus” that was ripped to shreds by Hillary Duff, and many other things.

One topic that I would love to talk more about is how I personally feel that Queen should be given their own version of Guitar Hero or Rock Band. They have a large catalog of songs that many people know and many people would have fun singing them or playing the guitar to. Freddie Mercury had an amazing voice and Brian Mays is an exceptional guitar player. Hopefully there can be some downloadable content or a track pack released in the near future.

All in all, the show was really fun and even if we didn’t have that large of a turn out Chris and I still had a lot of fun. That’s what matters, right?

As for tonights show, we are going to make it really count because we felt that an hour is a bit short and we are going out of town tomorrow to San Francisco.  Be sure to tune in and spread the word. We love the live interaction with the chat room.

Episode discussion at:

http://worldofmeh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=7

- She Who Has The Last Word

I am a man.

By this, not only do I mean to say that I am a man in the genetic, physical sense, but in the socially accepted sense as well.  I like cars.  I like women.  I like barbecue.  I like gadgets.  I like video games.  The list goes on, but I think you get the point.  With all this in mind, allow me to tell you a tale.

A month or so ago, Lindsey and I were out and about town, when we went into a Bank of America so that Lindsey could deposit a check.  As we entered, we saw a large window sign for a Hello Kitty designed bank card.  Lindsey, overcome with excitement and glee, proceeded to the teller counter to inquire about the card.  The teller told her that she could have the card issued at no charge for her personal checking subaccount…

Perhaps I should elaborate somewhat on the nature of her account at this point.  Last year, after I proposed, we decided to add a secondary checking and savings account to Lindsey’s general account at Bank of America.  This secondary account exists in both of our names.  As such, I have a Bank of America card for our joint account, which is under her account.

Where was I?  Ah,  yes; issuing the card.  Lindsey requested her personal checking card to be reissued with the Hello Kitty design, however, it seems that Bank of America got a bit over zealous in issuing cards.  Two days ago, I brought the mail into the house, and noticed three similar envelopes, inside of which I could distinctly discern some type of card.  Two were addressed to Lindsey, and one, surprisingly, to myself.  I proceeded to open mine, and what, you may ask, was waiting within?

My very own Hello Kitty Bank of America bank card.

Awesome.

-Because I said so